Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Perhaps I Offended You?

I called up an old friend today and we got to talking. Talking about the famous one-way street. Perhaps you know it. You meet someone and exchange numbers and then you call them. Perhaps they call you. Perhaps not. Perhaps you meet together or maybe not. Then you call them, and call them. Then you ask yourself , what's wrong with this picture? I always assumed the other person had a clash of personalities with you or something. You never seem to find out the answer. But this friend says what she does is leave a message on their answering machine saying please forgive me if I've done anything to offend you. SubhanAllah! I never thought of doing such a thing. I never thought I could have really offended anyone. I only thought I wasn't on the same wave-length or maybe they were too busy. We also talked about how people are so quick to talk behind your back instead of confronting you. If you've done something to offend someone then they should make it plain so that you can either a) defend yourself, tell your side of the story or b) agree that you were in the wrong and ask for forgiveness. Since so many are not the type to confront people then I think its an excellent idea to do as this friend does. Insha Allah I hope the people who have cut me off have never been offended by me and if they have will one day give me the right to do either a or b. In the meantime I hope I have not offended any of my readers.


  1. This sounds familiar in my life, or at least what use to be familiar to me. I, like you, assumed the same thing about people, we get busy, people have kids or we just don't really click beyond anything deeper than "salam, how are you?". If I didn't talk to certain people for a while it was assumed I was offended by something they did, this usually wasn't the case. I just got busy.
    My husband and his "friends" are the complete opposite and they can go months without speaking (because they understand life gets busy), they'll run into each other and everything is fine, no one is offended and neither one thinks they've offended the other. I wonder if this is a "man" thing or if it's just certain people's personalities, because I have met very very few women that understand family/and or work situations can be overwhelming and sometimes these things take top priority.

  2. So far I don't think anyone has ever thought I was offended by them. However as for the opposite I have no clue either. Its true that life can sometimes be overwhelming and I'm surprised that the women you've met don't understand that. Over here all the women say "I'm busy" which is greatly overused and is code for "I'm just too busy for you but if x or y invites me over I'll be there in an instant". But hopefully its not code for I'm offended! lol.