Thursday, July 15, 2010

Everyone is doing more.

Do you ever start to think everyone is doing more than me? I mean good deeds whether it be at home or in the community. I talked to a woman last night who said she makes her own baby food. I did this before for my 5th child but never revisited it with subsequent children. Other people are going to lectures,taking classes,homeschooling for years, cooking from scratch, volunteering etc. It makes me exhausted. I ask myself am I doing enough and what's really important? I know I could be doing more, but what? I know that some things don' t matter and won't be asked about on the day of judgement like making baby food or cooking so I can scratch those off my list but I worry about other things like am I giving my kids a good islamic education. I know I'm not because I don't have the experience and knowledge to do things like teach them quran. Going to conferences is out of the question right now with a baby and I do listen to cds and online but then knowledge must be implemented.  I hate this coasting feeling. I want to feel like part of something dynamic and I'm tired of the resistance from other muslims. I know I need to go to the next level, I've done it before but I'm stymied about how to get there under my present circumstances. Every blogger that is so inspiring must have started with baby steps but we never hear about that because they come on the scene full blast. Of course you can't take the first step if you are the type to be bogged down by laziness and procrastination and if you are read.this. Sometimes we need a mentor and that's something hard to find especially for converts who have no muslim family. Where am I going with this post? Not sure but I feel lost at sea and need to find my bearings. Advice?

6 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I'm at home with 3 kids under two. I can't do much else really except take care of the kids! Although I do milk a cow... so I can escape to the barn now and then. But other then that I feel totally chained to this house.

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  2. Hi Coffee Catholic! I see on your description that you have twins. You really do have your hands full. I've never had multiples and I'm amazed at people who do. Being a farmer's wife must be very satisfying knowing that you are providing for others. My grandparents raised sheep but not in my lifetime so I never got to see it but my mom talks about it. My ancestors are Scottish too. Maybe you could put your 3 kids in a triple stroller and give people tours of your farm. I bet they would love to learn about sheap shearing etc.

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  3. Dear sister C:

    What you do here on this blog is amazing! And you should count it as something great that you are doing.

    But I know the coasting feeling you talked about. I hate it too, and it comes over me when I think about the days when I worked in libraries; the books, the children eager (and not too eager) to read around me; storytimes etc.

    Sorry I wished there was more I could say to help!

    You're in my thoughts

    Your sister in Islam
    saara

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  4. Masha Allah I'm glad to know someone thinks I'm doing something amazing on my blog. If you want to follow the blog of another librarian check this one out.

    http://kelatemaghi.blogspot.com/

    I've asked her to blog about being a librarian..she works at an Islamic library and she has a bookshop too.! Masha Allah. I would love that.

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  5. Salaams:

    A bookstore and a library...two places I love to be in! My dream is to start a library for Muslim children and teens someday.

    Shukran for the link. I do believe we've met through her other blog http://readaloudkb.blogspot.com/ where she writes about the importance of reading with children.

    Thanks again.

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  6. Hey, i have Scottish ancestry too! My dad always used to boast that we're of "farming stock", but he was the younger son of a younger son, not sure how many generations, but any farmland belongs to distant relatives by now. We used to visit a farm in Scotland when we were kids, but I have no idea exactly who those relatives were...
    And I know what you mean about coasting, in many ways I feel a bit out of it. Still got the kids around (and wouldn't have it any other way) but it's as scary now they are teens or thereabouts as it was when they were tinies... plus the need to work and the limited energy. Frustrates my writing urges, but I guess I have to keep treading water for now, or maybe just accept where I am now and take it from there...

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