Socializing with female friends has different parameters in different cultures much to my chagrin. The canadian way is free spirited; stick hubby with the kids in the evening and take off for a coffee or whatever. The immigrant muslim way is get together in the day with your kids at their house. Okay that is what we would call a playdate not a fun time for friends. But they don't see it that way. Apparently when thier husband is home he needs their full attention and there is no gallivanting around with friends. Not only is this not my culture but I also homeschool so it makes no sense. How about weekends? Looks like those are only for your husband too! So you would think why not just find a convert who agrees with me. I can't seem to find any around me for one and a lot of them have been convinced by their hubbies that they should be stuck at home when they are there. I understand spending quality time with your hubby but where do friends fit in? Oh yeah between 10 and 11 am, weekdays only.
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BTDT to some extent. Compounded by working from home, having friends who work outside and lousy night vision which means evening excursions more than 5 mins from home are very difficult unless I can bum a ride from someone. Solved by having local halaqah within the 5 min radius and weekly Muslimah swim time at a local pool, alhamdulillah. At least there are some friends I see regularly there. It also helps to find sisters with less-sociable husbands (like mine) so we can plan ladies-only events they are happy to be left out of, lol.
ReplyDeleteI had homeschooling friends who used to get together with other homeschooling moms and kids, is this an option or too close to the playdate thing?
oops, that BTDT comment was from me - Huda
ReplyDeleteI am the only muslim homeshooling in my area unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteAssalamu Alaikum,
ReplyDeleteI love this post because I find it so truthful! I am a Canadian revert as well and really miss just hanging out with women...I mean, my husband can go and socialize, I don't have a huge problem with that. I would love to have a friend over for tea in the evening without it being a 'big deal' if you know what I mean.
Oh, by the way, I have been reading your blog ever since you started it and left f/b...it's me, Elysia! LOL
ReplyDeleteWA Alaikum Salaamu Elysia,
ReplyDeleteWish you were closer! Glad to know you are following my blog. And I do know what you mean!
4 yrs later and still going through this.
ReplyDelete